Laughter

I love to watch people. One of my favorite past times it to watch people interact with each other. The shopping mall is the best place for that.

I watch as adults walk side by side without saying a single word to each other, or as a parent pulls their child along looking frazzled by their kid wanting everything in every window they walk past.

Then there are the groups of teen boys and girls talking loudly and completely enraptured by the moment and each other, especially the girls. You can hear them coming a mile away talking, giggling and laughing, entirely oblivious that there is anyone else in the mall.

Growing up for me wasn’t humorous. There wasn’t much laughter in the home, and everything was dealt from a serious point of view. I took that perspective of life into my first years of marriage and child rearing; however, my awesome wife introduced me to the world of laughter.

She taught me to laugh at myself, which was the hardest to learn, and to laugh with others. She also taught me to see the humor in the many things around us.

I believe our family has become like those teenagers in the mall. We talk, giggle and laugh without fear of what others may be thinking. I am not ashamed to say that we laugh loudly sometimes acting a little ridiculous and odd. Sometimes people can hear us a mile away, and I can see their eyes glancing over us wondering what the humor is all about.

But even more so, I believe they feel somewhat envious of the fun and laughter we share. Laughter has brought our family closer together and has taught us to find the humor in every situation no matter the circumstance.

What is the humor quotient in your family? Are people watching your family live, love and enjoy life and each other through laughter?

Talk To Your Kids

Have you ever felt as if didn’t have the right words to say to your kids? Have your children ever asked you a question and you didn’t have an answer? Have you ever felt like they were getting smarter than you?

I know for myself, I have had “foot-in-mouth” disease with my kids when trying to be the hero that knows everything. Okay, I have a confession (do not tell my children), I do not know everything. And the older I get the more I realize how much I truly do not know.

Here are some pointers that I have learned when communicating with my kids.

Five things you should not say based on my experience:

• Defer to the other parent or relative
• Make something up that sounds right
• Minimize their question and shrug them off
• Laugh at their question and then give a sarcastic answer
• Ignore it in hopes it will go away

Five things you should say to you kids based on my experience:

• I do not know, but I will find out
• I do not understand the way you are feeling, but it is going to be okay and “I love you”
• I am here for you and we can get through this together
• I went through something like this when I was your age; do you want to hear my experience?
• Great question, let’s find the answer together

For starters, parenting is not easy, and then having the added pressure to be the all-knowing, super parent makes it impossible. What we are doing is setting ourselves up for failure.

Our kids love us not because we always have the right answer or because we are always doing things for them. What children truly want is an authentic, real relationship with a parent that relies on God and is willing to struggle through life with them.

What are some of your communication nightmares or “foot-in-mouth” moments with your kids?