I know for myself, I have had “foot-in-mouth” disease with my kids when trying to be the hero that knows everything. Okay, I have a confession (do not tell my children), I do not know everything. And the older I get the more I realize how much I truly do not know.
Here are some pointers that I have learned when communicating with my kids.
Five things you should not say based on my experience:
- Defer to the other parent or relative
- Make something up that sounds right
- Minimize their question and shrug them off
- Laugh at their question and then give a sarcastic answer
- Ignore it in hopes it will go away
Five things you should say to you kids based on my experience:
- I do not know, but I will find out
- I do not understand the way you are feeling, but it is going to be okay and “I love you”
- I am here for you and we can get through this together
- I went through something like this when I was your age; do you want to hear my experience?
- Great question, let’s find the answer together
For starters, parenting is not easy, and then having the added pressure to be the all-knowing, super parent makes it impossible. What we are doing is setting ourselves up for failure.
Our kids love us not because we always have the right answer or because we are always doing things for them. What children truly want is an authentic, real relationship with a parent that relies on God and is willing to struggle through life with them.
What are some of your communication nightmares or “foot-in-mouth” moments with your kids?
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