Goodbye To Gray

Our proverbial “gray areas.” I’m talking about those ambiguous areas we hold to with our kids like, “Do as I say, not as I do. Only Mommy and Daddy can use those words. Never question your parents. Kids are to be seen and not to be heard.” I could go on and on. 

When we create these ambiguous areas our integrity as a parent is put to question. And when our kids question our ambiguous statements, actions or motives, we create excuses and fabricate this alternate reality to make an expectation of ourselves. But really, we leave our children scratching their heads in confusion. 

It’s just plain crazy!

We want our children to live their lives with integrity and not maintain these “gray areas,” but for that to happen we have to live it out first. We need to exist in the real world of imperfection.

We are flawed, but forgiven. Be honest with yourself and with your children. Free yourselves to live in the freedom Christ has given. 

There is nothing wrong with letting your children know you are an imperfect parent who makes mistakes and has to ask a perfect God for forgiveness. 

What are the “gray areas” in your life?

Don’t Try, Just Do

She looked at her child and said, “I always try and tell the truth.”

A mom was correcting her son for not being honest. She spoke to him in a kind and nurturing way, and as I walked past them this weekend, I thought nothing of it.

But as the week passed, I began to realize the contradiction in that statement.  How many times have I given advice to my kids in such a way that was more confusing than helpful? And just like this mom, we think we are giving solid advice to our children, but really we’re making them scratch their heads in confusion.

The issue lies with the word “try.” We don’t want our children to just try, we want them to do. We always want them to tell the truth.

When I was a kid my dad used to say, “Think before you talk.” And I still have to remind myself of that wisdom when parenting my own children. I need to make sure that when I’m teaching them, I’m actually giving them sound advice.

James 1:19 challenges us to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but in our fast-paced, on-demand society that seems impossible, or is it? What are some things you’ve said to your kids that you later realized was more confusing than helpful?