End of Summer: What a Bummer

The end of summer is near and the last minute vacations are creeping up fast. You might be looking back saying, “Didn’t my kids just get out of school, and now they’re going back already!” Then some might be saying, “Isn’t summer over yet, so the kids can go back to school!”

Whichever the case, was this summer better or worse than last year’s? I know the economy is rough and finances are tight. But money isn’t what makes vacations and summers great. Sometimes a summer filled with the simplest activities can be the best ever.

When our family experienced tough times, we had some of the best experiences. We would turn on the sprinklers and run through, stepping on it to aim at and squirt the other person. We even had massive water gun wars lasting for hours from the front yard to the backyard and even spilling inside the house (my wife was not too happy about that).

Slip And Slide was also a big hit with my kids. I even remember throwing a ball around in the yard joined with some great conservation. And in the evenings we would sit outside on the front porch talking and laughing.


At times we may attempt to manufacture family time by doing things that are entertaining and money-consuming. And those things can be fun, but sometimes the simplest interactions as a family can be so much more effective. It’s not about what you do as a family, but the quality in which you do it.

Our children have been spoiled by us buying their entertainment. Try and spend some creative time with your kids where you can experience things together without losing the conversation.

What was your favorite family memory that didn’t cost you a thing?

Memories

What have you done this summer with your kids? Have you created everlasting memories for you and your children? Are they just sick of spending time with you?

These are the questions I wrestle with every summer. What am I able to do with my kids that will draw us closer together as a family and pass on a legacy for them?

When I was a kid growing up, I remember sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car traveling from state to state. I remember looking out the window and seeing an amazing redwood forest, going over a floating bridge in Washington and driving to the mountains to see snow.

But what I remember and cherish the most was seeing the Big Blue Ox. I will always remember it.

Being with my parents, exploring new things and experiencing new environments, drew us all closer together. I know for some of you this is a regular occurrence (vacationing), and the memories are growing.

But do you create spiritual memories with your kids? How much time are you spending with them in the Bible or memorizing prayer? We go out of our way to create experiences with our vacations and sometimes forget that the strongest memories are when we worship God as a family.

For me, I did not have those spiritual memories and anchors with my family growing up. However, today I am building those memories with my dad who is in his mid-eighties. I love our conversations about the Bible.

Do not wait to build an awesome legacy of memories of time spent together. Take advantage of any time with your kids and build memories, especially spiritual ones.

What cherished memories do you remember from growing up?

Laughter

I love to watch people. One of my favorite past times it to watch people interact with each other. The shopping mall is the best place for that.

I watch as adults walk side by side without saying a single word to each other, or as a parent pulls their child along looking frazzled by their kid wanting everything in every window they walk past.

Then there are the groups of teen boys and girls talking loudly and completely enraptured by the moment and each other, especially the girls. You can hear them coming a mile away talking, giggling and laughing, entirely oblivious that there is anyone else in the mall.

Growing up for me wasn’t humorous. There wasn’t much laughter in the home, and everything was dealt from a serious point of view. I took that perspective of life into my first years of marriage and child rearing; however, my awesome wife introduced me to the world of laughter.

She taught me to laugh at myself, which was the hardest to learn, and to laugh with others. She also taught me to see the humor in the many things around us.

I believe our family has become like those teenagers in the mall. We talk, giggle and laugh without fear of what others may be thinking. I am not ashamed to say that we laugh loudly sometimes acting a little ridiculous and odd. Sometimes people can hear us a mile away, and I can see their eyes glancing over us wondering what the humor is all about.

But even more so, I believe they feel somewhat envious of the fun and laughter we share. Laughter has brought our family closer together and has taught us to find the humor in every situation no matter the circumstance.

What is the humor quotient in your family? Are people watching your family live, love and enjoy life and each other through laughter?

Talk To Your Kids

Have you ever felt as if didn’t have the right words to say to your kids? Have your children ever asked you a question and you didn’t have an answer? Have you ever felt like they were getting smarter than you?

I know for myself, I have had “foot-in-mouth” disease with my kids when trying to be the hero that knows everything. Okay, I have a confession (do not tell my children), I do not know everything. And the older I get the more I realize how much I truly do not know.

Here are some pointers that I have learned when communicating with my kids.

Five things you should not say based on my experience:

• Defer to the other parent or relative
• Make something up that sounds right
• Minimize their question and shrug them off
• Laugh at their question and then give a sarcastic answer
• Ignore it in hopes it will go away

Five things you should say to you kids based on my experience:

• I do not know, but I will find out
• I do not understand the way you are feeling, but it is going to be okay and “I love you”
• I am here for you and we can get through this together
• I went through something like this when I was your age; do you want to hear my experience?
• Great question, let’s find the answer together

For starters, parenting is not easy, and then having the added pressure to be the all-knowing, super parent makes it impossible. What we are doing is setting ourselves up for failure.

Our kids love us not because we always have the right answer or because we are always doing things for them. What children truly want is an authentic, real relationship with a parent that relies on God and is willing to struggle through life with them.

What are some of your communication nightmares or “foot-in-mouth” moments with your kids?

Boundaries

So often when we hear the word boundaries we tend to think of fences or dividing lines between us and our neighbors. Even in sports we have boundaries defining the area of play for a sport, and of course, the lane dividers keeping us from encroaching into someone else’s lane.

There are boundaries all around us. Everywhere we go and in everything we do, boundaries are just part of our lives; however, when it comes to our personal lives and our interaction with people and family boundaries go out the window.

I know growing up for me the concept of boundaries and how to use them was a foreign concept. So often the traditional boundary-violation system is passed down from generation to generation. This violation, or lack of being taught boundaries, has led to a generation of people who cannot say no, and if they do they feel guilty for saying it. Or they let others run all over them because they do not know how to set a boundary and lost the ability to know who they really are as a person. When you have a lack of boundaries you are letting others define who you are.

When I read the Bible I see a very big God who sets very clear and definable boundaries. Let’s take a look at the Ten Commandments with very clear and established boundaries, and Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5) who were given a very clear boundary of no stealing. Just look at the consequences they suffered for their violation of God’s boundary.

Second, what are the boundaries we are showing for our kids? Are we teaching them how to respectfully say no, or are we as parents violating our kids’ boundaries because we are so weak with ours that we will not allow them to have theirs?

You want a healthy strong child sold out for Christ? Then help them to set and respect boundaries and to see that God has boundaries for all of us. Please share with me your story of discovering boundaries in your life.

Easters

Easters. Okay, I know you are thinking this has to be a typo. It’s not. Yes Easters. Sunday is coming, and I hope and pray that you will be up early to celebrate our victory in Christ. So going to church is Easter celebration one. Now for Easter celebration two: the time with your family celebrating Jesus for who he said he was in overcoming death giving us an eternal hope.

As a child Easter was one of the few times we went to church. I would get all dressed up sit through a service which would seem to last for a week, and then get ripped off with a bread crumb and a sip of juice. Wow, I thought it was torture.

However, the best part of Easter was the coming dinner. Was this the special meal to celebrate the egg? Or just the bunny that laid the egg? Wait bunnies do not lay eggs. Maybe this guy Jesus I heard mentioned created the holiday like George Washington’s birthday. I thought it was fun!

What I am trying to get at is what are your kids getting out of Easter? Is it a day of traditions with a little bit of Jesus added in for flavor? Or it is a day that Jesus is completely and absolutely the center piece of the day and every day after?

As parents, we need to ask ourselves if Easter is truly a day we are helping our kids understand the importance of Jesus overcoming death. Are our lives celebrated every day in that victory? I just want to challenge you with something.

Challenge: At the end of Easter Sunday ask your kids what the day was all about, and why you did certain things that day (i.e. church, special meal, etc.). See what they say. Some might be right on, and some kids might surprise you with how far you’ve moved away from the true meaning of Easter.

Random

Have you ever noticed how random life seems to be? Never knowing what is coming next or what is around the corner. We think we live in a world where we truly believe things randomly happen and where luck has such a huge role to play.

If we were to take the time to look back at our lives, we would see that “random” has little to no part to play. Chaos and luck are just products of our fears and lack of trust in God. What we call life’s randomness is actually God’s hand working in our lives.

Well for me, as I grew as a believer and in my walk with the Lord, I started to see that God was using “random” moments to truly take me where He wanted me to go. In the reader’s digest version, I look back on my years of being in the restaurant business, not just as a job, but also as a training ground for today. My years of volunteering at different churches in children’s ministries, was His prompting me to move along and gain more experience for today. There is so much more to this life story, but I hope you get the idea.

All I went through on my journey was never random but calculated training ground to prepare me for my mission today. However, when I was in the middle of it that was not my perspective. I saw it all as random.

     But I ask you all this:

• ·       Do you truly believe life is random?
• ·       Is God working in the randomness of life?
• ·       Can you look back to see God’s hand directing your life?
• ·       Is our God a God of chaos?
• ·       Is it luck or a blessing from God?
• ·       How quick are you to turn on God when He is directing you in a direction you do not want to go in?
• ·       Does God love you? And if He does, then why would he let you be in a state of randomness?

I have learned over the years that the best of times have been when God radically changed my life and generated me in a direction I did not want to go. Oh, what a blessing to see at the end of this chapter what He has done with me. My feeling is, bring it on God!

Share with me your journey, from what you perceived as randomness, but in actuality was His hand guiding your life.